Quite Continental Charm School: Day 5 – The Bump
06/02/2013 § 12 Comments
The Quite Continental Charm School
A modern guide to creating a charmed life
Mrs. Donn F. Eisele during her husband’s trip on the Apollo 7 mission, 1968.
Photo by Vernon Merritt, via Life.
“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won’t even be sure, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won’t be the same person who walked in. That’s what this storm’s all about.”
— Haruki Murakami
Day 5: The Bump
Most times my Charm School entries are plucked from the vintage-imbued ether that tends to swirl about my brain, but there are special times that I find inspiration in what is happening in my own life, or from conversations my friends and family. Today’s lesson is of the latter category. When I recently experienced a personal setback unrelated to the blog, it impacted my “production schedule” and, frankly, my motivation and pleasure for writing. Aside from a general malaise about blogging, I also was sailing upon troubled waters. I was upset, I was angry, I was hurt, I was worried, and the tumult of these feelings lead to a sort of paralysis — almost like a state of emotional shock.
While I felt like all I wanted to do was to sit on my couch and wring my hands, I knew that the only way to improve my current state was to affirmatively affect the present — not wallow in the past, nor worry about the future — after I took time to honor and own the emotions I was experiencing. While a lot of this was work I had to do on myself, personally, my lovely family, friends and colleagues also played an important part, offering me support, advice and assistance in many different forms. They listened to me. They checked in on me. They spent time with me. And as they showed that they cared for me in ways large and small, it helped me to feel stronger. I felt more and more like I didn’t want to wring my hands. I felt like I wanted to move forward, and that I had the ability to do so.
I was especially affected by the words of someone very special to me, when we were discussing the fact that I was upset that I didn’t even feel like blogging — something I’ve always taken a lot of pleasure in doing. He assured me that what I was feeling was okay, and possibly even a good sign, because it showed how much I cared about producing something I was proud of. He also pointed out that my blog was a reflection of my life, and that with a full life there were bound to be bumps, so the blog was bound to have bumps too. That I had to deal with the bump, ride over it, and — truthfully — try to be ready for the next one, and that I should not take less joy out of blogging because of the bump, because I was learning about myself. I was growing.
So for today’s lesson, I want us all to focus on making The Bump our friend. Whatever troubles you might be facing, big or small, if you can find a way to look at them as opportunities for growth, I can guarantee that you will feel empowered to make the affirmative steps to take yourself up off that couch and to stop wringing your hands. We are only a victim of our circumstances if we allow ourselves to be. Rude as it may be, The Bump is there to remind us that it is time to change our perspective. Let’s enjoy the ride as much as we can.